Fashingan is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, quiet gorilla.

Fashingan created a quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Fashingan, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fashingan, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Fashingan's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Fashingan's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear white tights.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Feed all hungry tortoises.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.