Cidtargwodbarn is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, emotional shark.

Cidtargwodbarn created life three million years ago.

If you believe in Cidtargwodbarn, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Cidtargwodbarn, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Cidtargwodbarn's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Cidtargwodbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry aardvarks.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not dye your hair pink.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never hurt pigs.