Gutfligwanhab is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, wise squid.

Gutfligwanhab created dark energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Gutfligwanhab, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gutfligwanhab, it will think nothing of it.

Gutfligwanhab's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Gutfligwanhab's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lemons to porpoises while wearing mauve coats.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Never sprint near grasshopers.

5. Erect seven silver sculptures of Gutfligwanhab on top of important buildings.