Tettigabbantadbarnsug is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, grumpy mink.

Tettigabbantadbarnsug created a bottom quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tettigabbantadbarnsug, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tettigabbantadbarnsug, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Tettigabbantadbarnsug's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Tettigabbantadbarnsug's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large tin sculpture of Tettigabbantadbarnsug on top of all buildings.

2. Never mention tapirs.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Run away if four pigs approach from the north.