Vonmanlan Zakrilldit is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, self-confident gnu.

Vonmanlan Zakrilldit created a down quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Vonmanlan Zakrilldit, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vonmanlan Zakrilldit, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Vonmanlan Zakrilldit's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Vonmanlan Zakrilldit's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near cats while wearing green corsets and balancing five gold spheres on your back.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Vonmanlan Zakrilldit.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never wear red skirts.