Sogcamcarquart is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, benevolent whale.

Sogcamcarquart created matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sogcamcarquart, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sogcamcarquart, she will destroy your home planet.

Sogcamcarquart's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Sogcamcarquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed peas to manatees while wearing mauve trousers.

2. Never eat cucumbers.

3. Never talk about solid mechanics.

4. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

5. You must never eat aubergines.