Vonktipgam is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, narcissistic fairy.

Vonktipgam created water four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonktipgam, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vonktipgam, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Vonktipgam's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Vonktipgam's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Vonktipgam.

2. Always make sure there are no shrews in a room before entering it.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics near aardvarks while wearing orange jumpers and balancing nine copper spheres on your feet.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not take Vonktipgam's name in vain.