Bassgarquag Rotwonhascin is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, duplicitous squid.

Bassgarquag Rotwonhascin created a down quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bassgarquag Rotwonhascin, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bassgarquag Rotwonhascin, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Bassgarquag Rotwonhascin's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Bassgarquag Rotwonhascin's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of snakes.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. Never hurt aardvarks.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always wear red.