Tifrutquam is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, self-confident cobra.

Tifrutquam created Asia three million years ago.

If you believe in Tifrutquam, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tifrutquam, it will turn you into a hamster.

Tifrutquam's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Tifrutquam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never think about fluid mechanics near dolphins while wearing green jumpers and balancing six carbon spheres on your legs.

3. Tifrutquam must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always help manatees in need.

5. Do not trade with those who eat rice.