Stigbonkdoss is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, awesome wren.

Stigbonkdoss created a charm quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Stigbonkdoss, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Stigbonkdoss, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Stigbonkdoss' most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Stigbonkdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not wear nickel on your body.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Run away if six snails approach from the south.