Tinhoghak is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, overgenerous lizard.

Tinhoghak created the solar system eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tinhoghak, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tinhoghak, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Tinhoghak's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Tinhoghak's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed cucumbers to tapirs while wearing dresses.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never sprint in the presence of voles.

4. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

5. Erect a giant red sculpture of Tinhoghak in the centre of the settlement.