Konvancid is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, overgenerous shark.

Konvancid created the Andromeda Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Konvancid, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Konvancid, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Konvancid's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Konvancid's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Konvancid must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never think about galaxies.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.