Nurtpodpadtiptonktailflistom is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, fast walrus.

Nurtpodpadtiptonktailflistom created the world three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtpodpadtiptonktailflistom, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nurtpodpadtiptonktailflistom, he will turn you into a frog.

Nurtpodpadtiptonktailflistom's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Nurtpodpadtiptonktailflistom's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into gray rooms.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.