Yatcapcan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, unsympathetic turtle.

Yatcapcan created the cosmos six billion years ago.

If you believe in Yatcapcan, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Yatcapcan, he will turn you into a rock.

Yatcapcan's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Yatcapcan's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Yatcapcan in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never think about photosynthesis.