Gilsugfag is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, unjust dingo.

Gilsugfag created the world seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gilsugfag, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gilsugfag, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Gilsugfag's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Gilsugfag's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear fawn.

2. Always help sick capybaras.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics near manatees while wearing purple shorts and balancing three tin spheres on your hands.