Wigarnfom is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, confident seal.

Wigarnfom created the planet Jupiter six million years ago.

If you believe in Wigarnfom, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Wigarnfom, it will refuse to believe in you.

Wigarnfom's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Wigarnfom's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never look at asteroids.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never feed strawberries to ants while wearing white shorts.

5. Learn eight new languages a year.