Ladyakxuck is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, tiresome wren.

Ladyakxuck created an atom four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ladyakxuck, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Ladyakxuck, he will turn you into a slug.

Ladyakxuck's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Ladyakxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never feed melons to birds while wearing mauve corsets.

3. Always help ducks in need.

4. Retreat if four moths approach from the north.

5. Fast once a month.