Jendavpon is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, charitable seal.

Jendavpon created Asia two million years ago.

If you believe in Jendavpon, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Jendavpon, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Jendavpon's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Jendavpon's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never paint your chest fawn.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Jendavpon must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Hide from pink foxes for they are unholy.