Xemvabhom Gupweghas is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, amazing coyote.

Xemvabhom Gupweghas created a Higgs boson two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xemvabhom Gupweghas, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Xemvabhom Gupweghas, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Xemvabhom Gupweghas' most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Xemvabhom Gupweghas' Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of figs to ants while wearing black ear rings.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Dolphins are unholy and should not be approached.