Narlsidsan is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, slow dingo.

Narlsidsan created Africa six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Narlsidsan, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Narlsidsan, she will remove you from existence.

Narlsidsan's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Narlsidsan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about special relativity.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Narlsidsan.

3. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

5. Never look at planets.