Safstippak is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, blissful crow.

Safstippak created a charm quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Safstippak, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Safstippak, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Safstippak's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Safstippak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about bacteria.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not shave your chest.

4. Always help monkeys.

5. Never think about fluid mechanics near ants while wearing turquoise tights and balancing eight copper spheres on your hands.