Fumlatrut is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, merciless snail.

Fumlatrut created gold three million years ago.

If you believe in Fumlatrut, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Fumlatrut, it will turn you into a rock.

Fumlatrut's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Fumlatrut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never talk about black holes.