Arpjarnstig Habfliggup is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, kind dugong.

Arpjarnstig Habfliggup created tapeworms two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arpjarnstig Habfliggup, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Arpjarnstig Habfliggup, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Arpjarnstig Habfliggup's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Arpjarnstig Habfliggup's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of coconuts to snails while wearing red ear rings.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always help cats.