Ditponyik is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, astonishing raven.

Ditponyik created water eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditponyik, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Ditponyik, it will turn you into a goat.

Ditponyik's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Ditponyik's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from purple ants for they are unholy.

2. Horses are not to be trusted.

3. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

4. Never sprint in holy places.

5. Do not stand on grass.