Zedvadcubbeg is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, humorless dolphin.

Zedvadcubbeg created an atom seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zedvadcubbeg, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Zedvadcubbeg, he will turn you into a hamster.

Zedvadcubbeg's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Zedvadcubbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never go into red rooms.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not kill sheep.

5. Retreat if five mice approach from the east.