Lopbottip is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, happy bird.

Lopbottip created dark matter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lopbottip, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Lopbottip, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Lopbottip's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Lopbottip's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat melons.

2. Run away from purple capybaras, for they are unholy.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Lopbottip.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not cook food in pots.