Wongofbitflam Tonkminart is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, merciless mole.

Wongofbitflam Tonkminart created the Milkyway two million years ago.

If you believe in Wongofbitflam Tonkminart, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Wongofbitflam Tonkminart, he will turn you into a goat.

Wongofbitflam Tonkminart's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Wongofbitflam Tonkminart's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat tomatoes.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never think about dark energy near seals while wearing brown stockings and balancing eight nickel spheres on your hands.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force near snails while wearing violet trousers and balancing six silver spheres on your feet.