Taggarlam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, dishonest tapir.

Taggarlam created viruses three billion years ago.

If you believe in Taggarlam, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Taggarlam, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Taggarlam's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Taggarlam's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in holy places.

2. Do not kill moths.

3. Never go into gray rooms.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.