Quartnuttig Mumlogmap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, all-powerful centaur.

Quartnuttig Mumlogmap created snails seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quartnuttig Mumlogmap, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Quartnuttig Mumlogmap, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Quartnuttig Mumlogmap's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Quartnuttig Mumlogmap's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Quartnuttig Mumlogmap.

2. Do not speak about aubergines.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Feed all hungry tapirs.