Sinmatwat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, unjust cat.

Sinmatwat created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sinmatwat, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Sinmatwat, she will be very sad.

Sinmatwat's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Sinmatwat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt bats.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not kill frogs.

4. You must never eat turnips.

5. Respect your elders.