Figfumfad Stip Wapnilltaf is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, moody aardvark.

Figfumfad Stip Wapnilltaf created a charm quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Figfumfad Stip Wapnilltaf, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Figfumfad Stip Wapnilltaf, he will destroy your home planet.

Figfumfad Stip Wapnilltaf's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Figfumfad Stip Wapnilltaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about badgers.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Figfumfad Stip Wapnilltaf.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate snails.

5. Always make sure there are no cats in a room before entering it.