Quillceppark is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, humorless gerbil.

Quillceppark created matter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Quillceppark, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Quillceppark, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Quillceppark's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Quillceppark's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about photosynthesis.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

4. Always make sure there are no eagles in a building before entering it.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.