Fumhot is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, clever meerkat.

Fumhot created carbon four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumhot, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fumhot, she will turn you into a hamster.

Fumhot's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Fumhot's Holy Commandments

1. Learn seven new languages a year.

2. You must love Fumhot.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fumhot.

4. Do not wear magenta clothing.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.