Laptagfag is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, all-knowing turtle.

Laptagfag created a charm quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Laptagfag, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Laptagfag, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Laptagfag's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Laptagfag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime near porpoises while wearing black coats.

2. Never think about comets.

3. Always help capybaras in need.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Laptagfag.

5. Never skip near great tits.