Vagvenbell is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, witless whale.

Vagvenbell created tapeworms seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagvenbell, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Vagvenbell, he will try to impress you with trees.

Vagvenbell's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Vagvenbell's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Worship no other gods but Vagvenbell.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always help sick great tits.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.