Tarpgetpang is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, smart centaur.

Tarpgetpang created a charm quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpgetpang, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tarpgetpang, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tarpgetpang's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Tarpgetpang's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Tarpgetpang's name in vain.

2. Never think about ultrasonics near monkeys while wearing purple rings and balancing six iron spheres on your arms.

3. Always help dolphins in need.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.