Gomdissweg Govloptof is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, flying cow.

Gomdissweg Govloptof created the Sun six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gomdissweg Govloptof, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gomdissweg Govloptof, he will turn you into a goat.

Gomdissweg Govloptof's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Gomdissweg Govloptof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

2. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Gomdissweg Govloptof must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never jump near tapirs.

5. Do not commit murder.