Sandhudcamkab is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, self-confident elephant.

Sandhudcamkab created a bottom quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sandhudcamkab, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Sandhudcamkab, he will turn you into a snail.

Sandhudcamkab's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Sandhudcamkab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory.

2. Never feed pineapples to tortoises while wearing shirts.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Never talk about bacteria.

5. Run away from cyan seals, for they are unholy.