Queegtiplithitgep Quatfotflag is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, generous penguin.

Queegtiplithitgep Quatfotflag created the world six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Queegtiplithitgep Quatfotflag, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Queegtiplithitgep Quatfotflag, he will turn you into a sheep.

Queegtiplithitgep Quatfotflag's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Queegtiplithitgep Quatfotflag's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not keep nine shrews in a large pit.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not drink alcohol.