Bugtailban Farnwegkim is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, ruthless jellyfish.

Bugtailban Farnwegkim created the planet Earth eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bugtailban Farnwegkim, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bugtailban Farnwegkim, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Bugtailban Farnwegkim's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Bugtailban Farnwegkim's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick swans.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.

4. Never talk about gravity near ducks while wearing black corsets and balancing three platinum spheres on your neck.

5. Never think ill of sick geese.