Quillbogarm is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, slow human.

Quillbogarm created the Milkyway four million years ago.

If you believe in Quillbogarm, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Quillbogarm, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Quillbogarm's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Quillbogarm's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Quillbogarm in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always make sure there are no otters in a room before entering it.

3. Never go into indigo rooms.

4. Never think about enzymes.

5. Always pray immersed in water.