Tarpbudcin is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, intelligent rhinoceros.

Tarpbudcin created a quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpbudcin, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tarpbudcin, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Tarpbudcin's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Tarpbudcin's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never feed peanuts to bats while wearing blue boots.

3. Do not keep six eagles in a large pit.

4. Always help sick rats.

5. Never eat strawberries.