Farncitsigflap is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, awesome manatee.

Farncitsigflap created snails four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Farncitsigflap, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Farncitsigflap, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Farncitsigflap's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Farncitsigflap's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed beans to capybaras while wearing cyan rings.

2. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Farncitsigflap in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.

4. Never write about galaxies.

5. Never talk about tortoises.