Vinnarbap is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, annoying shrew.

Vinnarbap created water four billion years ago.

If you believe in Vinnarbap, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vinnarbap, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Vinnarbap's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Vinnarbap's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from fawn manatees for they are unholy.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Vinnarbap loves snails, so they must be respected.

5. Never think about thermodynamics near porpoises while wearing blue ear rings and balancing three titanium spheres on your arms.