Motlarnyarquagbommilflam is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, witless camel.

Motlarnyarquagbommilflam created a photon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Motlarnyarquagbommilflam, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Motlarnyarquagbommilflam, she will not care.

Motlarnyarquagbommilflam's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Motlarnyarquagbommilflam's Holy Commandments

1. Motlarnyarquagbommilflam loves porpoises, so they must be respected.

2. Do not skip in public.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always obey Motlarnyarquagbommilflam's priests.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.