Gepjenhig is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, unjust mink.

Gepjenhig created the cosmos eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepjenhig, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gepjenhig, she will turn you into a hamster.

Gepjenhig's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Gepjenhig's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Always wear fawn.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never go into turquoise rooms.