Ontstangod is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, omnipotent ferret.

Ontstangod created Asia three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontstangod, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Ontstangod, she will turn you into a rat.

Ontstangod's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Ontstangod's Holy Commandments

1. Put Ontstangod first in all things.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Erect a large gold sculpture of Ontstangod on top of all buildings.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.