Febxemarf is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, witless spider.

Febxemarf created an electron nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Febxemarf, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Febxemarf, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Febxemarf's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Febxemarf's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate snakes.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never wear shorts.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Febxemarf.

5. Do not commit murder.