Flanjinquag Dobwip is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, ill-tempered monkey.

Flanjinquag Dobwip created everything that exists two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flanjinquag Dobwip, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Flanjinquag Dobwip, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Flanjinquag Dobwip's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Flanjinquag Dobwip's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Flanjinquag Dobwip on top of all buildings.

2. Do not hurt pigs.

3. Worship no other gods but Flanjinquag Dobwip.

4. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.

5. Do not dye your hair black.