Ganxucvonk is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unfair goose.

Ganxucvonk created the planet Jupiter five million years ago.

If you believe in Ganxucvonk, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Ganxucvonk, he will not care.

Ganxucvonk's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Ganxucvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never go into red rooms.

4. Do not take Ganxucvonk's name in vain.

5. Never think ill of sick voles.