Nurtsakxencet is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, calm grasshopper.

Nurtsakxencet created dark matter six million years ago.

If you believe in Nurtsakxencet, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Nurtsakxencet, he will turn you into a slug.

Nurtsakxencet's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Nurtsakxencet's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat tomatoes.

2. Do not wear black clothing.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate eagles.