Sitsugpag is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, all-knowing cow.

Sitsugpag created a Higgs boson nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sitsugpag, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sitsugpag, it will turn you into a plant.

Sitsugpag's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Sitsugpag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark matter.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

4. Never talk about optics near shrews while wearing brown shirts.

5. You must love Sitsugpag.