Pagbutzan is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, caring parrot.

Pagbutzan created an electron three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pagbutzan, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Pagbutzan, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Pagbutzan's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Pagbutzan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity near ants while wearing pink skirts.

2. Never hop in holy places.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Pagbutzan must be the most important thing in your life.