Lamjapwot is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, confident raccoon.

Lamjapwot created the planet Jupiter three million years ago.

If you believe in Lamjapwot, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lamjapwot, he will turn you into a rock.

Lamjapwot's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Lamjapwot's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no rats in a room before entering it.

2. Do not wear silicon on your body.

3. Do not shave your back.

4. Learn three new languages a year.

5. Never eat green fruit.