Lagbomyam is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, thoughtless tortoise.

Lagbomyam created the world five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagbomyam, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Lagbomyam, she will be mildly annoyed.

Lagbomyam's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Lagbomyam's Holy Commandments

1. Lagbomyam loves dogs, so they must be respected.

2. Never write about electromagnetism.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity.